Anyway, Jake and I still have no babies on the way. And it's still been a roller coaster of emotions I've dealt with from time to time—kind of like the roller coasters Jake and I have been riding at Six Flags theme parks this year! But you know what? Despite all the roller coaster-ing—the emotional kind, not the Six Flags kind—I feel I'm in an even better place then I was three months ago when I wrote that post. No, that doesn't mean it isn't still hard at times. That doesn't mean I don't still get a little sad when I hear about other people having babies. But, wow, God has brought me a long way!
The tool that has helped me on this journey the most is going through a study called, "God's Perspective When Life Hurts," by Darlene Kordic. I honestly don't really remember why I signed up for this study at my church. I think it was simply out of convenience—it was on a weeknight that I was actually free, and since we live a lot closer to church now it was just easy to go. I didn't sign up for the class because I thought I needed it or that it would change my life. It just seemed like a good opportunity.
Thankfully we serve a God who will take our "convenient" decisions and use them to put us where He wants us to be.
One of the greatest takeaways from that study was a reminder of who God is. Who is He? He's an all sovereign, all wise, all loving God. His power, greatness and control over all is beyond our comprehension. He can move and direct despite the evil in this world to bring out His purpose in the lives of His children. I was reminded that His plan for my life is perfect and better than anything I could ever dream up on my own. When life gets hard I may struggle in the moment to believe that His plan is the best, but that truth remains.
This study is worth checking out for anybody who has ever struggled with wondering how a loving God can allow such bad things to happen. Even if you have deep hurts, major struggles, emotional suffering, and just don't understand how to work through those raw emotions, God can still be a rock for you and this study is a wonderful tool to realizing that. Or if you just want to gain a greater understanding of suffering and God's will, you should check out this study.
There are DVDs that go along with the study if you wanted to do it for a small group. There is a workbook that goes along with it, but it is comprehensive enough that it could be a stand alone if you wanted to do the study by yourself.
If you have any questions about it you can leave a comment or contact me through the link above.
PS. If you are pregnant or have just had a little one please do not feel bad for me. Instead let me snuggle with them and get my fill of baby loving :-)
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