It Wasn't What I Had In Mind, Thanksgiving 2020

Thanksgiving wasn't what I thought it was going to be this year, but isn't that true for all of 2020? 😆Still, in my head, I had this vision of how we were going to celebrate, who we were going to celebrate with, and where, but, to make a long story short, things didn't work out. So, I had a choice: feel left out and be miserable the whole day OR make new plans and make the most of it.

After checking in with the Hubster we decided to host Thanksgiving at our home and invited three couples that we knew didn't have anyone else to celebrate the holiday with. We had a ridiculously huge feast, great company, fun, and WAY too much pie! Thanksgiving plans that started out as a bummer, turned into something even better.

Our guests included some of our dearest and longest friends on Maui who have invited us to their holiday get-togethers in the past. We invited some neighbors from down the road who hold a very special place in our hearts, as well as new neighbors that just moved into the house above us.

Looking back over the day, I realized that I never had any sense of trying to make a "Pinterest perfect" Thanksgiving. Normally I would've been Instagramming every plate of food, pie, recipe, centerpiece, and turkey feather, but filling up my phone with pictures for social media never crossed my mind. I attribute this to the 40-day fast I recently took from social media. The weight of comparison and documenting my every move with pictures and posts completely left me and I soaked up this Thanksgiving day with fresh eyes and appreciation.

And you know what? I didn't spend a dime! Jake and I have been trying to spend less these days, and so I had already budgeted our Thanksgiving food into my last grocery shopping

trip. Our 10lb turkey managed to feed us all, and our guests brought lots of sides to share. So I didn't need to buy anything else. Combine that with my freedom from social media and the need to buy that special dish or decoration or napkin set or scented candle or whatever just because so-and-so Instagrammed her beautiful table arrangement and made me jealous, and I was golden! The boys and I made handprint turkey place cards and Toby and I made centerpieces out of glass vases, silk autumn leaves, corn kernels, and pinecones that we had gathered from the forest. The table may not have been "Instagram-able," but it was memorable!

It was all such a good reminder that it isn't about what the table looks like. It's not about having the biggest turkey or having the most Pinterest-worthy setup. It's about being present, having fun, thinking of others, and getting creative with what you already have.

As we head into a month of parties, dinners, and celebrations I hope I, and you, remember what it's really about. The greatest gift of all, the gift of a Son and eternal life! And while I know my kiddos are getting lots of gifts from all those who love them dearly, I hope to use this weird year to really slow down and talk about the only gift that matters this season through advent and purposeful conversation.

How was your Thanksgiving? Who did you get to celebrate with? What was your favorite dish?

Filled with Hope,

Savoring The Simplicity Of Childhood

Years ago when I used to babysit a lot—pre kiddos of my own—I used to buy them costumes after Halloween as their Christmas presents. I have always been frugal, even when I didn't have to be, and buying costumes at post-Halloween prices was a great way to get something the kids would love at a fraction of the price.

These days I do this for my own kiddos, though I don't hold out on them until Christmas ;-) I hit up our local Wal-Mart a few days after Halloween and snagged some sweet Batman, Superman, Spiderman, and Owlette costumes for $2.50-$5 each. They have already provided hours of entertainment, joy, and fun! Oh, and the cuteness factor is 😍😍😍

In addition, they've really been getting into Avengers movies, watching Spider-Man do backflips, stunt shows, and Jackie Chan. This has inspired them to take their costumed selves out onto the trampoline and do flips and tricks, and it's adorable.

Since my nose hasn't been plastered in my phone as much lately, it's these kinds of things that I'm learning to appreciate more. These are magical moments that won't last forever. Weeks ago I may have missed out on them, brushed them aside, or been too distracted to appreciate, but these are the moments I want ingrained in my memories:

• The giggles
• The dialogue they create
• How they insist upon calling each other by whatever character name they are currently pretending to be (even if they're pretending to be the same character!)
• The way Toby strikes a "superhero landing" pose every time he does a somersault
• Teddy calling himself "spiderweb" because he can never remember to say "Spider-Man," but then he'll pull off his mask and say, "Just kidding. It's me, Teddy!"

Last week I was mourning the loss of so many of our usual holiday activities—Sugar Cane Train rides, Da Maui Sleigh rides, the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at The Grand Wailea, watching Santa arrive on the beach—but you know what? To Toby and Teddy, at this stage of their lives, the littlest things are plenty magical, special, and fun. They are having a bast with their imaginations and so many other things, that it's okay not to have those other activities. We can still go look at Christmas lights and decorate and have parties with groups of close friends, and that's all we need.

I hope this Christmas is one for the books, not because we survived 2020 and it was weird, but because we took the time to soak in all the small, magical stuff—the simple joys of hot cocoa, popcorn, a Christmas movie, making crafts for gifts, decorating cookies, reading Christmas books, and following the star each day as it makes its way over the manger, guiding the wise men to Emanuel, God with us.

Filled with Hope,

Our Favorite Keiki Beach

The boys and I managed three trips to our favorite keiki (Hawaiian word for child) beach this week: the Kelepolepo Fishpond. It's our favorite because there's a beautiful man-made rock wall that keeps out the bigger waves, and on calm days at low tide, it's almost as calm as a swimming pool. We also spot a lot of honu (Hawaiian word for turtle). This past Thursday we counted 17, which was the most I'd ever counted there at one time.

The uncle (Hawaiian term for any older man, especially if you don't know their name) that has been rebuilding the wall this year said that because this site is now better protected it attracts more honu to rest on the wall. He also built a shelf next to the wall, that sits just under the water, that makes an attractive nesting spot for the honu.

The honu we see here are Hawaiian Green Sea Turtles, which are the largest hard-shelled turtle in the world. They are native to Hawaii and are considered endangered. You are required by local and federal law to not go closer than 10 feet to them. Thankfully our boys have gotten used to this and they're pretty respectful of the turtle's space. So, if you ever come visit our beautiful island, please don't be that tourist who takes a photo sitting right next to one.

We love meeting friends at this beach and hanging out. A group of us moms with young kiddos started a group text so we can share when we are going and plan meet-ups.

It's fun to finally be at this stage with the boys where I can bring my chair and actually "sittervise" (supervising from a sitting position 😂), and visit with friends. It's the one thing that feels close to normal in this crazy world.

There are 14 honu in this photo! Can you spot any?

I thought being off of social media would leave me feeling isolated, but in the last few weeks, as I've kissed Facebook and Instagram goodbye for a spell, I've become more intentional about socializing face-to-face. Social media often gives us a false sense of socialization, making us feel like we're connected to people and relating to others, but the truth is it's just a poor counterfeit of the real deal. You can never replace in-person conversations where you can read body language, facial expressions, and enjoy conversations that go deeper than a meme.

Anyway, we've had a blast spending quality time with our friends at the Fishpond. It's been said that if you're lucky enough to live on an island, you're lucky enough. But I think we are awful blessed too!

Filled with Hope,

Redeeming The Time

It's been a week without social media, and, honestly, the longer I go the more I wonder if I'll ever go back. Sure, sometimes I wonder what people are up to or if I'm missing out on something, and sometimes I miss being able to share with friends and family what the boys are up to, BUT I don't miss the noise, the time wasted scrolling, the frustration it can evoke, the comparison, the jealousy, the "highlight reel" of people's lives.

At the beginning of every year I pick a word that represents some area of self-improvement I want to focus on. I can't remember what I picked this year—and I suppose if I was on social media I could scroll back and find it—so instead I'll pick a word based on what I think God wants me to focus on right now: redeem. Specifically, redeeming the way I use my time.

It started in March after attending a local If: Gathering, a national women's conference. I felt God tugging at my heart to wake up earlier to spend time in my Bible and prayer, prioritizing Him before anything else in my day.

Then in September, I felt like I needed to redeem my afternoon time, that downtime during the boys' naps when I'd fall asleep or scroll my feed for two hours or watch shows—nothing wrong with any of that, by the way, but I knew for me I could be using my time better.

Around this same time a friend was looking for part-time help at her t-shirt shop, which just so happened to fill that afternoon time. And so, naptime redeemed! Instead of wasting away 2-3 hours of my afternoon, I get to spend 4 hours helping friends, visiting with customers, being active, and earning some extra money that I hope to squirrel away for an epic 10-year anniversary trip (I've got another year and a half to save for it ;-) ).

Finally, at our local MOPS meeting at the beginning of October, we touched upon the theme of: Decide To Rise. During the discussion, the Lord convicted me to delete from my phone a silly game called Township—my competitive side had lead me to waste way more hours than I should have in that game and it was time for it to go. Goodbye my little town!

And BINGO! More time redeemed!

That was the chain of events that lead me toward this idea of stepping away from social media. And as hard as it was to cut the cord, it's surprisingly been so rewarding and much easier than I thought it would be. My desire to be more present with my kids has happened naturally. You know what they say: phone down, eyes up!

Speaking of the boys, we are headed to the beach with friends before a much-needed rain comes for a few days, so I'll sign off for now and touch base soon.

Oh, and I'm working on family Halloween costumes. Do you dress as a family theme or every member for themselves? Any ideas for family themes you've done or seen? Or, if it's not a secret, what are your kiddos dressing up as this year? Share in the comments, please!

Filled with Hope,

Day One, Not Hard But Weird

Day one, while much easier than I anticipated, was weird. So many of my daily routines involve social media so I kept finding myself picking up my phone to hop onto Facebook or Instagram only to ask myself: does anyone really know what my plans are for the day? Do they even really care? 

I didn't timelapse my workout to share in my stories, but you know what? I still worked out! And I still checked in with the virtual fitness group I run to share with my team what I accomplished.

Later that day at the beach, there were moments I would think, 'Oh, this would be a cute story or post,' and just as quickly I was reminded that I didn't need to do that. And that's ok. Instead, I felt fully present, capturing a few photos to have and share here, but otherwise, I was content watching my kiddos, playing with them, soaking up the sun, and enjoying our beautiful life on Maui.

In the evening, while I washed the dishes, instead of catching up with some vloggers or Facebook, I listened to the latest episode on the Risen Motherhood Podcast. And after the boys went to bed instead of mindlessly scrolling my feed I found a book to download on the Libby App and spent the evening reading.

My phone says I was actively using it for 1:46 minutes, which is down 72% from last week. Almost a half-hour of that was spent texting a few friends more than I usually do, while 24 minutes was spent on my camera or photos, 25 minutes on websites (I was looking for recipes for dinner last night, which ended up being BBQ pulled pork sliders on homemade rolls) and a few minutes here and there on other apps.

I'm not really sure why I'm telling you all of this, other than to let you know it's doable. I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Rather, I just had to adjust my daily routine. We'll see if day two goes as smoothly ;-)

In other news, my two #10 cans of pumpkin puree just came! Tell me your favorite pumpkin recipes in the comments because I'll be making ALL things pumpkin as soon as it's cooler out!

Filled with Hope,

Traveling Pangs

When I told friends and family that I was considering flying solo from Maui to New England with my boys (one's just barely two and the other is only 11 weeks old) they all thought I was CRAZY! Haha!

Well, maybe I am!

But, to me, the tradeoff of getting to spend extended time with family and friends was worth the consideration. Jake would've come with me, but his work makes it difficult for him to leave Maui for that long.

So, crazy or not, I booked my tickets and hauled my two little guys across the Pacific and then the country until we landed in Boston, MA. Jake would follow a month later to spend the last two weeks with us.

Here are a few tips and things I learned about traveling with little ones.

1. To Layover or Not to Layover

When purchasing my tickets I chose to take the flight that had the fewest layovers versus the shortest travel time. For me, the idea of having to navigate fewer airports (Maui, one layover, and the final destination) was easier than dragging them through an additional airport or two just to save time.

2. Mrs. Pack-Man

Next came packing. After much thought and consideration, I chose to wear my newborn in a harness and push my toddler in an umbrella stroller. This made it easier for me to keep the toddler (who I will refer to from here on out at Mr. Wreck-It) under control. I could also use the stroller to help carry stuff. Despite what some may think, the stroller was easy to collapse at security and the airport's gate check option made transporting it easy.

3. Carry-On #1: The Everything Bag

For our carry-on bags, I utilized our large diaper bag backpack the most. Its numerous pockets made it easy to carry and quickly retrieve things like diapers, wipes, diapers, extra sets of clothes for all three of us, diapers, a blanket, diapers, glasses case, diapers, laptop, wallet, and a few more diapers. I even brought headphones for me and Mr. Wreck-It to help ease the noise of air travel (look into Cozyphones for the kiddos. They're wonderful!)

4. Carry-On #2: The Other Everything Bag

For my second carry-on I chose a large beach bag that I could hang from the stroller to transport and would make things easy to get to on the plane. In this bag I put snacks, a cup and lovie for Mr. Wreck-It, no mess painting pads, a blanket, kid-sized neck pillow, child restraint backpack filled with toy cars, books, and finger puppets. This bag was basically less essential stuff that I just wanted easy access to in case Mr. Wreck-It was in meltdown mode and I wanted to keep him from wrecking something.

5. The Secret Empty Seat

When I arrived at our gate I headed to the desk to inquire if there were any open seats for my infant in arms. I've learned that if there are any open seats, the airline will often block off an extra seat in your row just for the baby. And if you have your carseat (which I did not) you can even put them in that. On our first flight, which was a red eye, there were some open seats so the boys and I ended up with our own row! Hallelujah!

More Travel Tips From A (Alleged) Crazy Mother

1. Go into the trip planning to get no sleep. You are there to entertain and help your children survive the flight. If you plan for no sleep and get 45 minutes you'll feel amazing! ;-)
2. Don't expect your 2-year-old to sleep on the plane. At all.
3. Remain calm no matter what happens with your kiddos. Upon boarding the plane Mr. Wreck-It, my 2-year-old, started to freak out and wanted off. I remained calm, explained over and over what we were doing, who we were visiting, and all the fun we would have, and he got over it. Kiddos pick up on our emotions. If we start to get bent out of shape because they're crying and might disturb other travelers, they tend to escalate. So keep your cool. Don't worry about anyone but you and your kiddos. Just do your best.

The Tears. Oh, the Tears!

Once the 2-month-old was soundly asleep, I put him down on a blanket in the seat with a seatbelt around his waist so I could hold Mr. Wreck-It. That helped him fall asleep, which was around 1am Maui time.

Whew!

We originally had a 7 hour layover, but I had seen that another direct flight was headed to Boston 5 hours earlier. So, with fingers crossed, I went to guest services and inquired if there were seats and, if so, could we transfer to that plane? For $50 each they changed us, and I will tell you that $100 was 100% worth it! Seven hours would've been way too long. The two hours we had was perfect. Mr. Wreck-It got to wiggle and walk and run and tumble and fall and jump and get out as much energy as possible.

The second flight started out much more smoothly. Mr. Wreck-It was asleep before takeoff and remained that way for 3 hours of the5-hour flight. Unfortunately, when he woke up he informed me that he was done traveling by having a full-on meltdown. He was done being on a plane, done sitting, done keeping quiet, and there was little I could do to console him.

For about 20 minutes I had a 2 year old and an 11 week old on my lap at the same time crying. What could I do but embrace it and comfort them as best I could? I just tried not to freak out, tried not to worry about the other passengers, and just focus on my boys.

At one point, Mr. Wreck-It needed to go potty. Teddy was awake so I asked one of the flight attendents if they could hold Teddy so I could help my 2 year old in the bathroom. They happily obliged. In fact, two of the flight attendents were jokingly fighting over who got to hold Teddy. I told them where I was sitting and to bring him back whenever they were done. That gave me about 10 minutes with Mr. Wreck-It, just enough time to get him calmed down and comfortable. So never be afraid to reach out to the flight crew to hold your baby if you're in a pinch.

One Last Hurdle

My last challenge was getting my bag from the baggage claim. I had Teddy strapped to me and Mr. Wreck-It in the stroller. There was no way I could also drag a large checked bag behind me. Thankfully a kind gentleman offered to grab it off the belt. He then wheeled it across the room to get us out of the crowd.

And then my parents were there! We had survived! Woo-hoo!

Would I do this again? Honestly, yeah, I think so. It wasn't terrible, and it was all over and done within less than 24 hours total. I gave birth to these two minions with no epidural, so what's a day of travel pangs?

I learned so many other things that could benefit other traveling Mamas, so if you have any questions feel free to comment below and I'll do my best to answer.

A Fun Way To Date Your Spouse!

Now that Valentine's Day has come and gone, and I've given Jake his gift, I can share with all of you what I made him.

First off, let me start by saying one of the things we are working on is having more consistent "date nights" :-) It can be tricky at times if we don't plan ahead because we don't have family here who can easily watch our son. We have to find a babysitter or friends to look after Toby if Jake and I want to go out alone. Too often we look back and realize it's been weeks, if not months, since we went out just the two of us.

We started trying to plan two dates a month in January. Being intentional has helped, but, for Valentine's Day, I thought I would take it one step further.

Do you ever get in a date rut, where you got to the same restaurants or always catch a movie? I feel like we are totally guilty of that! Haha! I mean, nothing is wrong with that, but the reality is you don't really talk or connect during a movie, and repeat visits to the same restaurant don't foster new shared experiences and fresh conversation—plus there's just so many great restaurants we still need to try!

Insert my Valentine's gift. It was a simple idea that I found thanks to Pinterest and I tweaked it to work for us—date night ideas that we could pick out at the beginning of the month to change things up.

All you need is:

• Markers
• A jar
• Popsicle sticks
• Labels or paper & tape

I chose to create 4 categories:

1. At home date nights that are free.
2. At home date nights that have a small cost.
3. Date nights out that are free.
4. Date nights out that have a cost.

This will work with our budget, babysitting availability, and keep us changing things up!

Some of the ideas I came up with include:

• Board game night
• Sunset picnic
• At home theme night (like Italian and make Italian food together, listen to Italian music and maybe learn a few words in Italian. It could also be a movie theme, decade them, etc.)
• Try a new food truck
• Walk on the beach

To create my list I scoured the internet for ideas. I also added some things that Jake and I often talk about doing but for some reason never have. I also threw in some of our favorite things to do that are always fun.

Then I color coded the four lists and wrote them out on the popsicle sticks marking the top part of the stick with the right color. At the beginning of the month, we pick two popsicle sticks based on our budget and childcare availability.

The main reason I did an equal amount of at home date nights was that I was keeping in mind that we are expecting our second baby in April and getting out of the house might be tricky for a while. This way we won't sacrifice our time together during that crazy, sleep deprived season!

If you try this out, I'd love for you to share what some of your date night ideas are! I'm always on the lookout for a new ones :-)


Filled with HOPE,

My Miracle Morning Routine

At the end of 2017 I realized I needed to commit to a new morning routine. Allowing myself to wake
up naturally and then try to fit in my morning routine that included time in the Word, prayer, and exercise before Toby got up WASN'T happening!

It's not a big deal to exercise after he gets up. In fact, I kind of like knowing that he sees me do it because it's ingraining in him a healthy standard. It's the other stuff that wasn't happening. I just wasn't finding the time to dig into my Bible and pray while an 18-month-old demanded my attention.

A year ago I read the book The Miracle Morning, in it Hal Elrod shares a list of best practices to begin each day:

S - silence
A - Affirmations
V - Visualization
E - Exercise
R - Reading
S - Scribing

Thousands of people have transformed their lives, their success, their mindset, their health, and their outlook by following this 60 minute morning routine. I figured, if it could work for so many other people, why not me? So I adapted the routine to fit the important activities I wanted to observe every morning:

S - Silence as I turned to Prayer
A - Affirmations
V - Visualization
B - Bible reading and Devotions
R - Reading
S - Scribing what I'm thankful for.

I'll break this down and share a little more of what I do in each section and how much time I devote to it.

Prayer
The first 5 minutes of my routine I quiet my heart and pray over my routine, my day, and whatever comes to mind. I pray that God would speak to me specifically as I dive into His Word, and that I would feel connected with Him throughout the day.

Affirmations
The next 5 minutes I read aloud a list of affirmations that I printed out that speak to where I am at. Affirmations about being a mom, about not procrastinating, about attracting new clients and coaches, and about my coaching business. I used to think saying positive statements (that were or were not currently true) aloud was SILLY! But so many successful people do it, and so I thought I would give it a shot. What I've found is that the things you focus on are the things your mind guides you toward. It's not magic. It's not a quick fix. It's a conscious choice to believe you are capable of certain things and then you start automatically acting on that belief.

Visualization
Another one that I thought was hogwash—but I've heard testimonies from way too many friends, mentors, and celebrities that it works, so, I figured, let's give it a shot!—is to visualize. I visualize how I want my day to go, what I want to accomplish, and how I want to feel at the end of the day. Then I visualize reaching my goals for that month, how that will feel, what I will do when it happens. I continue this for my quarterly goals, yearly goals, life goals, and any other goals that fit in the 5 minutes I do this.

Bible Reading and Devotions
I don't think I've read through the Bible in a year since I was a bible school student over 10 years ago, but I want to change that! So I found a reading plan and I read 3-to-4 chapters a day. As of this writing, I have not yet missed a day. I follow that up with a devotional, currently, I'm reading 100 Days To Brave, by Annie F Downs. If there is any time left I either read the study notes in my Bible or I spend more time in prayer.

Reading
Another 20 minutes is spent reading a book. My goal is to read 36 books this year, and since I just finished number 6 I think I'm going to make it! These books are based on areas I want to grow in such as business, leadership, parenting, marriage etc. Currently I'm reading Love and Respect In The Family, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I've already read Present Over Perfect, Boundaries With Kids and The Miracle Morning. The other books I listen to on Audible during my omorning walk with Toby. So far I've listened to 5 Second Rule, 10X Rule, and Get Over Your Damn Self (warning, this one does have some swearing in it, but I found the content to be good enough that I can look past it. And I use headphones so Toby doesn't hear!)

Scribing
The last 5 minutes of my hour I spend writing down all the things I'm thankful for. I typically start with things I'm thankful for from the day before, answers to prayer, etc. Then I move on to thanking God for the things I am TRUSTING He will bring to pass, things not yet answered, but that I have faith He will! I've been doing this part since August and it's SO much fun to look back and see how many things on my "not yet come to pass but I'll choose to be grateful anyway" list have now become solid "thank yous!"

So, in a nutshell, that's how I start each day! Typically, Monday through Saturday, I begin at 5:30. Sunday, since it's a rest day from my workout, I allow myself to wake up naturally and fit in as much of the list as I can, starting with the most important of my bible reading, prayer, and journaling. I stay on track throughout my hour by having alarms set on my phone with a reminder of what begins at that time. Which means, if for some reason I want to sleep in I have to turn off 9 alarms! Haha!

I would love to hear about your morning routines. If you already do any of the above or would like to begin adding them to your day, drop me a line! You can comment below or send me an email through the Contact button on the top right!

And for the record, I linked all the books for easy access on Amazon for you! I don't get ANYTHING for you ordering, I'm not an affiliate, just another mom trying to make life a bit easier for you ;-)


Filled with HOPE,

Trading Tired For Joy

Do you ever get a sense that you are doing all the "right" things but not getting the results you
expect?

That was my first two weeks of 2018.

I entered the year with big goals, goals that encompassed many aspects of my life. Not all of them were new things, many of them I was just recommitting to or placing on the top of my To Do list.

A week and a half into the year I was feeling EXHAUSTED! Like, could hardly make it to my 9pm bedtime, needing naps, feeling like something was "off" or just not right.

Here I was doing all the things I thought I should be doing—like taking time to be in God's Word, praying, exercising, connecting with my clients, growing my business—but, still, I was drained!

I quickly realized this wasn't going to work, that I couldn't maintain this level for long, and that was a discouraging thought. I felt like that meant I had to give up on my goals and dreams.

One evening I decided to shut down my computer, even though that To Do list was far from complete. I took a candlelit bath and spent some time quieting my heart and mind as I listened to Elevation Worship Radio on Pandora.

I wouldn't say any of the songs that played were a direct message to me, but overall they were a reminder to not lose sight of eternity, to not forget my mission, my calling.

One of the things I've always loved about being a business owner is that I can use the platform of health and fitness as a platform for anything. Somewhere in the busyness of life, however, I found myself not really using it as a platform at all.

My vision was not just to encourage women to better their health and fitness, but to encourage them to grow in their walk with the Lord, strengthen their marriages, and raise their children to love Jesus. My aim is to be their cheerleader on that journey, and THAT brings me JOY and fills my cup.

I don't feel God is calling me to change any of the goals and dreams I have for the coming year, only to make sure I'm utilizing my calling to the fullest extent. He wants me to rest in Him, to share more about Him and what He is teaching me, to encourage others to grow in Him. Those are things I've wanted all along. I've just gotten a little sidetracked.

Are you exhausted? Are you in a season of busyness, trying to do and be everything you think you need to do and be? I encourage you to take time today to just sit in His presence, to open your heart and mind to what He has for you and find rest in Him.

Filled with HOPE,

Well Hello There 2018!

Whenever I look back on the outgoing year, it's often easy to find myself focussing on the failures, the missed goals, the things I didn't do, the things I did that I shouldn't have, but I refuse to go there this year!

Instead, I want to share a few highlights, as obviously I did a TERRIBLE job at keeping up with this blog ;-)

It was a joy and privilege to watch Toby grow and learn from 6-18 months. It's incredible to remember what he looked like and was capable of a year ago compared to now. He learned to sit, crawl, walk, run, say words (too many to keep track of at this point) and he is an unending source of energy and joy, filled with giggles and optimism. Being his mama has been one of the hardest and greatest opportunities in my life!

Earning an all-inclusive paid trip to the Dominican Republic in April was SO FUN! I left behind daddy and Toby for one week to relax in the sun, hang out with my teammates and friends poolside, try a new fitness program live with the trainer, swim with dolphins, and spend a day at the spa. It wore me out, but it FILLED my heart!

June brought our little man's FIRST birthday! We celebrated with a Little Blue Truck theme because that was the first book he took to. Many of our Hawai'i ohana came and celebrated with us as we enjoyed breakfast food (Toby's favorite meal at the time was breakfast), cake, and games.

Jake and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on June 30th! Time has flown by. I can't believe we've already been together that long, but at the same time it's hard to remember life before "us." We didn't manage to actually celebrate until August with a fancy dinner at one of our favorite restaurants with a gorgeous ocean view.

In August I went all in with a new fitness program and eating plan—the same program I had tried out in the Dominican Republic. I was getting amazing results and sticking to the nutrition 100% UNTIL I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant with our second little one! I was so proud of myself for following through with the workouts until the end though and setting myself up for a healthy and fit pregnancy.

In September, Toby and I flew to New England to spend the month with family and friends. Jake joined us two weeks later. The trip was filled with hiking, apple picking, cousin time, family dinners, apple cider making, meals with friends, new babies and lots of catching up. It was so fun to see Toby interact with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and our friends. While we were there we found out baby #2 is another BOY!

We had our first Friendsgiving here on Maui—actually, we had two! It was different than what we were used to, but we are thankful to have had a Thanksgiving filled with delicious food and great company.

In December we made a bucket list of Christmas activities we wanted to do around Maui and one-by-one we ticked them off the list—a holiday train ride, tree lighting ceremony, driving and walking around looking at Christmas lights, the "snowfall" at the mall, and our annual Christmas Cookie Baking Christmas Movie Watching Marathon where we packaged up all the goodies and delivered them to our friends.

And that's about it in a nutshell.

One thing I've found myself struggling with as we head into the new year is a sense of direction. Typically, by this time, I have a "word" for the year and a verse to go with it. I've thought of several words such as brave, growth, courage, etc., but nothing has really jumped out at me. Instead of rushing and forcing this theme to happen I'm choosing to continue to be open to what God might want me to focus on. I already know this year is going to include growing my business with the goal of one day buying a home here, working at deepening my prayer life, learning what life with two little boys will bring, serving our church, and lots more I'm sure!

What was the highlight reel of your 2017? Do you have a theme, word, or verse for 2018?

Filled with HOPE,

The Best Gift Ever - The Story of Toby

When Jake and I were engaged we discussed when would be a good time to start a family. We both came to the table thinking two years sounded good. So that was the plan. We were both young, had no major health issues, and we didn't think it would take long to conceive.

Unfortunately we were wrong.

Three years after getting married? Still no baby. A friend of mine shared that a doctor had recommended she go on a gluten free and dairy free diet in order to help conceive. I had no reason to think this would work for me, but I wanted to feel like I was doing something to help the process, so it was worth a shot.

My gluten free/dairy free diet lasted two weeks. lol! It was Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory that did me in. We took a tour with some friends and the free ice cream at the end was too much to resist. Oh well. I figured I'd start the gluten/dairy free diet again the next month. Maybe then we'd get pregnant.

Here we were at the end of September, which is the lead-up to Jake's birthday on October 2. In our family we don't celebrate birthDAYs; we celebrate birthWEEKs! The birthday boy or girl gets a week of special attention—little gifts here and there, fun activities, special meals, and such.

Well, this particular year I FAILED! Like big time. On Monday night of his birthday week I apologized for not planning anything. He was a little disappointed.

So that night as I was praying I could only think of one way to make up for his birthday week. One thing that might put me back into my husband's good graces—if I found out we were expecting. So I prayed that I would be pregnant, and that if I was I would remember to take a pregnancy test in the morning.

Keep in mind I had NO reason to believe I would be. I hadn't had any symptoms or anything, it was more of a wish than a real possibility.

The next morning I remembered to take the test. It had two lines. I had never had two lines before. This must be some mistake. So I took another one. And then another. They all had two lines. According to these tests I was pregnant!

Now to figure out how to tell Jake.

I knew it would be a big surprise after having tried for a year, so I spent two days planning it all while keeping the whole thing a secret. Yikes, how did I even do that?

Since we were planning to move to Maui in just a few months I thought I would take him on a trip down memory lane to special places from when we were dating.

• Our church, where he first asked me out.
• The local pizza place where we used to share a plate of spaghetti almost every week.
• The bench where we had a serious conversation about whether we wanted to "get serious" about our relationship.

Our final stop was at Harvey's Lake in Barnet, VT, the place where we first hung out, where he first told me he loved me, and where he proposed.

It only made sense that this be the place where I told him we were pregnant.

I parked in the lot and had him put my scarf over his eyes. He waited in the car while I went out to the lake shore and set up his camera and tripod, along with the pink and blue balloons I had purchased earlier that day. Then I led him out there and, well... the rest is on camera...

Toby's Birth Story

A birth story. Where does one even begin?

My due date was June 1, and to my dismay it came and went without any baby. Early meetings with our midwife suggested I was further along than doctors originally thought, so her first guess was that I might have him a couple weeks early.

Nope.

A couple days into June I began to experience lower back pain, off and on cramping—AKA contractions—but being a first time mom I had no idea if what I was feeling was the beginning of labor or not. There were, however, some other physical signs that indicated labor was getting closer.

Labor Begins

On Sunday, June 5, around 1am, at the same time I was trying to fall asleep, I began to have contractions that felt like the real deal. They were inconsistent though, happening 10-15 minutes apart, then 8-10 minutes, and then up to 20-30 minutes. Though they weren't intense they were just noticeable enough and close enough together that I never was able to fall asleep.

I was a nice wife though and let Jake sleep until 8am. Then I told him what was going on.

We decided to go for a walk around 9am to see if that progressed or stopped the contractions. Initially the contractions got closer and closer together, but only lasted a short time. However, when we got home they went back to being 15-20 minutes apart, and they slowly got closer together throughout the afternoon.

At 3:30 I decided to contact my midwife, Merrily, to let her know what was going on. We decided I should go see her to determined if I had dilated any more.

When we arrived at Merrily's the contractions were about 8-10 minutes apart lasting anywhere from 30-90 seconds. I was really hopeful they were pushing my labor along. It would've been discouraging for my body to have kept me up all night doing all of that "work" only to accomplish nothing. Thankfully it looked as though I had dilated to between 3-4cm, and I was completely effaced.

Some early labor pains.

Oh, Wait... NOW Labor Begins

Merrily said that when contractions start mild and far apart it usually means a long labor is in store. So she worked my cervix a little bit to stretch it out to 5cm, which hurt, but helped speed things along.

She sent us home with all the equipment she would need for the delivery and some different herbs and things to help kick labor into full gear.

On the drive home the contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and lasting 30-45 seconds.

Jake noticed my focused breathing and asked if I was just practicing or if the midwife's "stretching" actually worked.

"Oh yeah," I said. "It worked."

Breaking My Bag of Water

Initially I was planning on a water birth, and so I thought now was a great time to get in the tub and see how I liked it. I didn't. Not at all! It probably didn't help that I was experiencing back labor and I felt very confined and preferred moving around to just sitting in water, so out I came and I never got back in.

By 8pm my contractions seemed to be fairly regular. They were also painful enough that I really needed to focus on my breathing to get through them.

Merrily arrived at 10:30. She asked how I was doing. Honestly, I thought I was rocking the whole labor thing! I mean, it was uncomfortable, but I was handling it great. I figured I was probably around 8cm. To my unfortunate surprise I was only 6cm dilated which meant after 5 hours of more intense contractions I had only dilated 1cm.

The reason I wasn't dilating more quickly was because my bag of water was somewhat in the way, so poor baby couldn't drop down. He was still in station 1. We opted for the midwife to break my bag of water in the hopes that would speed things up.

And ooh boy did it ever!

Within five minutes of having my water broken I began to have constant back-to-back contractions with only seconds to recover in between. The hardest thing for me was that because my contractions were coming one right after the other I had no time to experiment with different positions to find a comfortable place to sit, lie, or rest.

Hanging On My Hubby

For two-plus hours all I could do was hang onto Jake. I'd hug his neck and hang from him, swaying my hips, and breathing through my contractions. He was my rock at that point, the only thing that kept me grounded as he whispered prayers and words of affirmation to me, trying to sooth me in any way he could. I remember a few times he walked over to the kitchen to help our midwife with something and that's when it would get to be too much for me. I just needed him present with me and as long as he was there I knew I could get through it.

At about 1am Merrily checked me again and I was fully dilated. I went from 6cm to 10cm in two hours! Little man was still hanging up high though which meant it wasn't going to be easy to get him out as he needed to drop first. And because NO position felt comfortable for me I couldn't find a way to push. My contractions were so close with no break in between it was impossible to catch my breath and push.

Jan, our assistant midwife, had arrived by this time. She and Merrily suggested I stand with my back to Jake so he could hold me up. This way every time a contraction hit I could squat, open up my hips, and push. The baby finally started to drop and I began to feel like I was working with my body's contractions to make progress and it wasn't nearly as painful.

Jake massages my back during labor.

A Passing Blur

Honestly the next 4-plus hours were kind of a blur. The pain intensified. The contractions became stronger. We utilized many different positions from laying down to squatting to sitting on the toilet, anything to get him to come down.

My back pain was incredible! Jake massaged me. Merrily and Jan massaged me. They all took turns pressing on my lower back with each contraction, but the pain was excruciating.

At one point the midwives encouraged me to lie on my back, grab my feet and pull them towards my chest. This sounded like a horrible position and I didn't want to try it at first, but it ended up taking the pressure off my back and proving to be a lot more comfortable than I thought it would be. I did a lot of work in this position. I rotated from one hip to the other, holding up one leg at a time, trying to use gravity and my contractions to get baby through my pelvis. I was on and off oxygen during this time as baby's heart-rate wasn't consistently staying up, and there were times I was told not to push in order to give him a break. NOT-pushing? That was torture!

Our midwives, Merrily (left) and Jan.

Dehydration and Exhaustion

By this time I had been having contractions for over 24 hours, with the last 7 hours being active labor and the last 4-plus hours being the most painful thing I've ever experienced. My body was exhausted. I hadn't slept in two days. Because I was so dehydrated my contractions had shortened to about 30 seconds, not enough time to get in the ideal three strong pushes that the midwives wanted me to get.

Merrily hooked me up to an IV to get my body hydrated in order to lengthen my contractions. It took about 45 minutes to an hour, but finally I was having long enough contractions to get in three good pushes.

My eyes hemorrhaged from the exertion and almost swelled shut. Jake made frequent trips to the freezer to grab cold wet washcloths to put over my eyes to control the swelling, and also to place on my neck to help keep me cool.

Baby Emerges Tangled Up

Once baby made it around my pelvic bone it wasn't too long before he starting crowing. The midwives used a mirror to show me his head, but my eyes were so swollen I could hardly see. I did get to reach down and touch him though, which was hugely motivating.

Toby emerged posterior (face up), which is not the ideal position. Furthermore, his right hand was trapped behind his head by his umbilical cord which was also wrapped around his neck. A trifecta of problems! Yeesh, kid. The midwives said STOP, which was extremely painful and difficult to do when my contractions wanted me to push. All I could do was breathe with it, which was one of the hardest parts of the whole ordeal.

After a few moments they got him untangled and then I heard, "Push, push, push, push!" I remember thinking my body shouldn't have anything left to give, but I knew how close to the end I was. I found strength to keep pushing and before I knew it he was finally out!

"He's Not Breathing."

Those words are every parent's fear, and as soon as Toby was out that's what I heard, "He's not breathing," Merrily said. "I think I need to give him a couple of breaths."

I don't remember what I said, but Jake told me later that I started praying out loud, "Dear Jesus, help Toby breathe."

The midwives said, “Talk to your baby. Let him hear your voice.”

“Breath Toby. Come on, Toby.”

Then Jake leaned down real close to him and said, “Hey Toby. This is your daddy. You need to breathe, buddy.” And at the sound of his voice Toby inclined his head to daddy and squeaked for the first time.

Thank you, Lord!

In reality all of this took place in only about 90 seconds, but in the moment it felt like forever. Also, during that time he was never in danger of being oxygen deprived as he was still receiving oxygenated blood from his cord.

The midwives plopped Toby onto my chest :-) Love at first sight!

But It Wasn't Over

Pushing out the placenta was more of a chore than I was expecting. I've heard a lot of women say that after pushing out a baby, the placenta is nothing and that usually it comes right out without them even realizing it. Not in my case! My placenta was huge and it took a couple good pushes to get it out.

At last the midwives were able to see all the damage Toby's crazy arrival brought with him. I don't know how many stitches I ended up having, but it took close to two hours for Merrily to put them all in, partly because there was one stitch deep inside that was not easy to get to.

Merrily said she's never put so many stitches into any other woman. Ugh. Not the award I was hoping to win!

A REAL Vermont Baby

Because I got so dehydrated, I ended up consuming a quart of Recharge for electrolytes to stay hydrated. The problem was that the drink also contained a lot of sugar. So when Toby was born there was a risk of his blood sugar dropping rapidly.

To help him, Jan diluted some maple sugar in water and fed it to him through a vial. Being a true Vermonter, he loved it! His little tongue came out and started lapping at the vial for more.

Toby's first taste of maple sugar just an hour after he's born.
Because that's how Vermont babies roll!

One And Done?

Shortly after giving birth I remember saying to Jake, "Why would anyone do this again?"

Well, as I sit here writing this 72 hours later I'm already saying, "It wasn't so bad. I mean, if that's what you have to do to bring something so precious into the world I think I could do it again."

Currently Jake isn't so sure about that idea ;-)

And that's my story in a nutshell!

It definitely was not the easy, minimal pain, quick delivery I had been praying for, and yet I know God gave me the strength, endurance, and resilience to just keep going, never give up, and to do it with grace. Thankfully I never felt the need to complain or scream, and I never said anything mean to my husband. I just focused on what I had to do to get my baby out. At the end of the day you can't ask for anything else.

Preparing For Baby Workout & Life On Maui Update

I could begin with an apology for being a FAILURE at blogging! I could tell you all about how "busy" I've been since moving to Maui. I could blame it on my prego brain and hormones.

But that all would be a LIE! Hahaha!

I'm really just bad about taking the time to blog. There you have it. The truth.

I've realized one of the reasons I'm so bad at keeping up with it, even though I have good intentions, is that I know I'm grammatically incorrect and in order to have a nicely written blog I must depend on my husband to edit them for me :-) Which he is super about, but it's one more thing on his plate.

Since I last posted we have been busy with working on our businesses, growing them and creating them into something that can financially support us here on Maui. We have gotten very involved with our new church family, including attending a small group, Bible studies, and serving on ministry teams for social media and kids church. I've also taken on some babysitting, which is a great chance for me to get out and earn some extra money at the same time.

I've gone back and forth with doing great with my eating and exercising. I attempted to do the 21 Day Fix program with minimal modifications, however in the final week I was unable to complete it due to needing to take it easy on my body. Thankfully I was also part of a Bump n' Booty group that had a daily booty workout challenge that helped me stay on top of things.

The workout on the right is similar to some of the moves we did. It's a great low impact workout for anyone, but especially all the mommies out there.

I'm putting this blog on my "to do list" because not only is it a great way for me to keep in contact with so many of you, but also a fun way for me to go back and see what life was like at this point :-)

Until next time, I promise not to let two months go bye!

I Have A Blog?? Oops!

Four months have passed by since my last post - that is CRAZY!

It's not that I have stopped working out, eating healthy or building my amazing team of coaches so we can help even more people reach their health, fitness and financial goals. It's that other significant life evens happened.

September was a busy month with hosting two sweet girls from Life Action - a ministry that travels the country speaking in churches and helping to ignite revival in the hearts of God's people. Jake and I were personally challenged during that time and grew closer in our relationship with the Lord and each other. We also had lots of fun showing the girls around VT - bringing them to Ben & Jerry's, through the Smuggler's Notch and then over to NH to explore Franconia Notch, Polly's Pancake Parlor, Windy Ridge Orchard and the Brick Store.

At the end of September I found out we were pregnant with our first baby - something we had been trying for over a year to have happen. It was a fun time of sharing the news with Jake, family and then the facebook world.

If you would like to see our announcement video go here: Young Couples Pregnancy Announcement To Families

The next couple of months were busy as we prepared to move to Maui, pack up our things and spend time with family and friends.

On December 31st we found out that this little one is a BOY and we again had fun sharing the news with family and friends.

If you would like to see that announcement go here: Jake 'N' Dani's Gender Reveal

Now I sit here writing from my little apartment on Maui, were we have begun to settle over the past week. It's amazing for me to look back and see what God has done over the last four months and will continue to do as we seek Him on this adventure we call life.

I hope to keep up with this blog more faithfully sharing recipes, my life as a coach and our life here on the beautiful island of Maui.